Soul Care

Over the weekend, in a voice memo conversation with a dear friend—a sister to me in this life—she mentioned that her soul is tired.

It caused me to pause. I knew as soon as I heard those four words, "my soul is tired," that I wanted to write about it, to process it, to feel it.

Soul exhaustion is different than anything else. It's different than chronic fatigue. It's different than our cortisol being upside down. It's different than not having a good night's sleep for a couple of days. Soul exhaustion requires a whole different prescription of tender loving care. I have been there before—in deep grief and big life changes and motherhood—not being able to catch my breath.

I myself think my soul can still be tired. One of my favorite poets, Andrea Gibson, talks about when she leaves this earth, she wants her heart to have stretch marks on it—something along those lines. I'm not so sure our soul is much different. But for those of us that are tender-hearted and weary these days, whether it's the world that feels like it's coming at us or our own heartbreaks and grief, this kind of care looks like:

The slowest mornings we can find. 

The smallest circle of friends that we can tell everything to.

One friend that will show up beside us and let us not say a word, or let a million words drop out of our mouth.

Soul care is also quiet. It's coming back to nature. It's spending as much time as possible where there's moss on a tree or blooms or flowers growing. It's time taking in our pets, perhaps, and the giggles of our loved ones. 

The medicine for this also looks a lot like just being. Feeling that our heart is being worn outside of our body. Knowing that our soul has been forever changed, but that it keeps becoming—like a patchwork with the most delicate gold thread. Perhaps not any of the patchwork of the quilt having a match, but amazingly beautiful.

 And here's the thing about a tired soul: Just like grief, there's no timeline on when it won't be tired. We acknowledge that our souls will be altered, be shifted, but they'll be that much richer after they've been tired.

So, sweet friends, lean in. Talk about the things that we don't normally talk about. Dive in this week, perhaps, and see how your soul is feeling. I believe it's right next to your heart and encompasses the brightest lights. So if your lights feel a little dimmed, it's okay. It just means rest. You'll emerge again, however you need.